When we moved from the far northeast kingdom of Vermont I figured my days of snow and cold were long gone. I really hate snow...what good does it serve? Alright, my kids love to go sledding and might enjoy skiing if we lived in a snowy place but since we don't, they have no idea what they are missing. Now, this past weekend when we had several inches dumped on our beautiful property, the parents (and the ones who stop stupid ideas before they take effect) were out of town at a convention....in sunny and warm Las Vegas. My children, whom will remain nameless but were of the male gender, decided to build a mountain for their baby sisters to enjoy a bit of sledding. FYI...I doubt very much they built the mountain for the babies but we'll let them believe we believe them. This "mountain" was build on my back porch, centered within inches of the back door, which might not be a major issue if the porch had been built by a real man...but instead was built by an uneducated, much unloved, never will hire him again neighbor--who, upon us first moving here, convinced us he was a great contractor and my mother-in-law (RIP) loved to pieces! The "mountain" was constructed with snow from all over the yard and took...so they say...ten hours to build. As the "mountain" reached within inches of the roof, one of those lovely contractors noticed a "weird looking board by the bricks, that he had never seen before". It was the smarter of the two, lucky us, because he quickly realized it was a board that shouldn't be showing, but was, because our porch was sinking...QUICKLY! To which they quickly got out cameras...must have pictures of the mountain, quickly got out videos recorders...must have video of us "skiing" down the mountain and slowly got the necessary equipment to take apart the much loved "mountain". Once the mountain was gone, they discovered that they had in fact sunk our porch four to six inches and the dilemma of how to tell the parents began.
Should we call? NO! Should we send a text? NO! Should we send them the cute video of us skiing? NO! Should we pretend it didn't happen?.....maybe.....more like a don't ask, don't tell type deal was struck. This tactic might have worked...if they were smarter! When asked "did you use the car yesterday?" correct answer "yes, but only to take the neighbor down the driveway" wrong answer "no...why" wrong answer "no, not yesterday" (they took the neighbor home day before yesterday). When asked "did you have friends over?" wrong answer "no...why?" wrong answer "yes but it was only neighbor boy" (it was neighbor boy and neighbors friend) All the wrong answers led to "I'm going to give you the next five minutes to lay everything out on the table and if you talk now, you will not be punished for anything....if after five minutes your baby sisters rat you out...you will die" I like the speak now or forever hold your peace...as you will be dead later tactic...it's always a winner!
Now, one boy is the smarter one because he noticed things, thinks them out and act quickly---he discovered the wayward board...the other boy is smarter when it comes to "speak now or die". He quickly came up with...now let me tell you a funny story about a mountain we created. He laid the whole story out and of course...I couldn't kill them because they spoke within five minute!
So, I wonder...I can't kill them for the sunken porch...but what about the soaking wet, stinky carpet from all the foot traffic at the doorway? How about being able to kill them for the mud and grim brought in from digging down to bare ground to build the snow "mountain"? Nope, can't kill them...but did make me realize I need to change the flooring at the back door! And being lucky enough to own a flooring store....I have the perfect idea!
In Vermont both the inside and outside is made for mountains and mountains of snow. No carpet at the doorways, mop near by, box outside the house to hold the wet stinky, sloppy socks and boots, porches were made of steel (or at least had mega re-inforced beams) to hold up all the snow...in Virginia not so lucky on any of these details. We are lucky enough to have fiberglass flooring. Water resistant, mildew resistant and will hold up in major traffic! It's not slippery and if the kiddies do loose their footing they won't get hurt (unlike ceramic which could mean a trip to the emergency room). It comes in all kinds of designs from wood grain to ceramic tile. It's really perfect for back doors that have 12' snow mountains built for sisters who want to sled:)
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